Gentleness (Bickering part 2)

So, my miracles are still asleep this morning, and I think I can be quick. Here's the rest of the story:

Two things have changed in the way I deal with bickering since my poolside talk with my wise and wonderful sister-in-law. First, I took an idea she gave me a ran with it. She had mentioned the phase they had where if one of the boys said something negative, he had to say a bunch of positive things. (for their family it was 5 nice things.) So, starting Monday, I implemented the "Say 3 nice things rule." Corrections are followed by agreements, insults give way to compliments, and pure rudeness is amended with old fashioned niceness. It's a challenge, but it's been wonderful to hear positive things out of the mouths of these brothers.

The second is the mystery I alluded to in the last post. I've been slow to speak. Trust me, my tongue has bite marks on it, but I've been keeping my thoughts to myself. And when I do speak, rather than argue, I simply say something like, "I would like to work in a peaceful kitchen, would you two like to go out back or out front?" (I was really proud of myself for that fine moment of parenting!!!) I've been doing what I heard at a parenting class a few years ago - getting my sail out of their wind.

So, what's my secret? I've been praying. Every time I want to correct my boys, or interject my opinion in what seems like a petty argument, I pray for them. I pray that Josiah will have compassion, or that Titus will have maturity. I pray that they will grow to love each other. I pray that they'll learn how to overcome their differences. I pray all sorts of things - and it does my heart so much good. It's the practical outworking of Philippians 4:6 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." I'm finding it helpful because I feel like I'm doing something constructive, and I'm not harping on the kids.

Now, I didn't read that verse and then decide to try this slick "program" or "formula" for parenting. I desperately shared a need with a friend and God changed the way that I'm doing life. It's only just this morning that I recognized that it's actually in the Bible. :) And the thing I find fascinating is what is in verses 5 and 7. Listen to this: First of all - "Let your gentleness be evident to all, "and secondly, "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

So, let me wrap this up. God has used prayer to turn around one of my most difficult daily situations. Around our home this week, my gentleness has been showing, and it's making a big difference in all of our attitudes!! And the peace of God has done my heart a major good this week. 

I got pure delight out of a conversation last night. I was approaching the boys, who were arguing, and I was praying. I said nothing, I just prayed. As I got close, Josiah started in with his defensiveness, "I didn't do anything, he just. . . ." I answered with a smile and said, "I didn't say anything." He looked at me and said, "You did something. I could tell you were doing something," and I replied, "I was praying." He stood there dumbfounded and watched me walk away.