Abby picked me some dandelions today. It's a beautiful bouquet. We put it in a vase and set in on the stove, where it will reflects in the black semi-clean glass top. I noticed them throughout the day, open, bright, joyful.
I went out for a walk with a friend tonight. Needed to get out. Needed to hear truth. My pace has been crazy-making lately and I felt more than a little crazy today. Good walk. Good talk. Good fresh night air. Very refreshing.
Walked in the kitchen and noticed the dandelions are closed for the night. And it hit me. These little weeds have an internal clock. A ticker that gives them their rhythm. Daytime, open and bright, night time, tucked in to rest.
I need a ticker. An internal thermostat of sorts that tells me when it's time to tuck in and rest. My ticker is broken. Has been for quite some time. Occasionally I hear a random tick-tock that tells me it's not completely gone, but somehow I have learned to tune it out. Press through. Keep going. Open and joyful round the clock.
It's not working out for me right now. It's a pattern of push, crash, push, crash. . . I would rather open when it's time to be open and close when it's time to close. Not sure how to get there, but tonight I am noticing the dandelions.
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I like your blog, Jen, esp. this most recent post. I have been there, my friend. It took so many burnout years for me to learn to say "no" to taking on more things (as awesome as they may have been), because it was just TOO MUCH. I was suffering, my family was suffering, and my relationship with God was pathetic. Doing all those "great things for God" was taking its toll.
ReplyDeleteIt's beautiful that you received this message through a weed, something that most people try to kill. Something worthless. God's ways are mysterious, aren't they?
Love you!
Lorie
Thank you for sharing this. I woke up early knowing that I would need a friend to talk. God send you and dandelions for my early hours. Heading for the day with God and whishing that you would feel Him very clearly in your side today too. John Eldredge's qoute is icing for my cake :) Love, Piia
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