Your children are eternal

Many of you know that I've been wrestling lately with my schedule. What I expected to be a fairly breezy Fall, in terms of time commitments, has turned out to be a full scale hurricane. How, I ask myself, can I continue to fill life with so much activity that I don't have time for the necessities, like grocery shopping, let alone down time? How, I wonder, can I get to a place with "margins," when I seem to have an internal drive to "do, do, do?!"

So, these past couple weeks I've been taking a closer look at my weekly commitments and praying about what to change. It's hard. I like everything I've committed to, and I made the decision to do it because I think it's important and good. It's not like it was 8 years ago, when my schedule was full of all the things I "should" do. That was a life of misery and guilt. No, I carefully measure my "yes" and I use my "no" liberally these days - but still, I find myself in a place of making what I call "deep cuts" to the schedule.

In this process of prayer, thinking, journaling, talking with Jeff, and talking with friends, a couple things have come clear to me. One is that I want to raise my kids. That's why I'm not a working mom. But when I look at the schedule for this Fall, Abby is with Grandmas or friends 4 out of the 5 weekdays - for half the day. Four out of five?! That's ridiculous!! I want time with my girl before she grows up and flies away!!

The second major revelation came from a comment at Bible Study this morning. I was sharing my struggles, and that I might actually give up the Bible Study in order to reign in my schedule, and one of the responses blew me away. My friend (who has kids in college and high school) said, "I really respect you for even thinking like this. Your kids are eternal, and you only have a limited amount of time with them. They say it goes fast, but it goes faster than you can imagine."

"Your kids are eternal." Wow! Think about that. Eternal. If I believe what I say I believe, then I believe in heaven and hell. And if I believe in heaven and hell, then I believe the children I bore will live past their life on this earth - in eternity. And I do believe that. But have I realized that I am making an eternal investment every day of their lives? Have I realized that the time I have to influence and train them has an expiration date and I best be making the most of the days we are given? Wow!!! What a thought! I could seriously chew on that one for awhile.

And it was a breath of fresh air, because suddenly the "deep cuts" that had seemed so hard to me lost some of the power they were wielding over me. As I drove home with Abby in the back seat, (after I picked her up from the friend's house who had been watching her) I glanced at her several times and thought, "Wow, I love her, and I want to spend time with her. I want to be with her." My heart opened to new possibilities, and the new schedule began to fall into place in my mind. No, I won't be doing everything I want to do, but I'll be doing what I love, and what's best for us.

p.s.

My friend who made this profound comment went on to say this: "And if you don't have anything left for your husband by the time you fall into bed at night, then there is a problem with how busy you are." This too, is good food for thought.

Good night - Jen :)