Helping

Some friends of ours lived in the upstairs apartment of our house for three months one summer. They were between houses - having sold one and waiting an agonizingly long time to find that they could not buy they one they wanted. Our kids are similar ages, and they play together amazingly well. It was one fun summer - you could hear the pounding of feet up and down the stairs as the kids played in our apartment, their apartment, and outside. (FYI, our house was an old farm house converted to a tri-plex years ago. So I use the term "apartment" to simply delineate a different part of the house. You'd have to come see it to truly understand it. I like it. It's unique!)

We also learned something important that summer - the power of living in community. Cassy would come downstairs, have a cup of tea, and visit with me while I cleaned my kitchen. I would go upstairs and sit in her unbelievably small chairs and help her fold her laundry. We got our work done, but in such a pleasant way. It made me a believer in helping each other - even if we don't live in the same house.

A few weeks back I was overwhelmed with the amount of work in my house, and I sent out an SOS e-mail to a few friends. A couple of them responded, and came over to help me while we visited. We had such a great time connecting, and we got a lot done. By the end of the week I was so much more on top of what needed doing around the house. It's no surprise that Cassy was one of my friends who came and helped.

So today, I'm off to help Cassy. Seems the holidays wreak havoc on her home - just like the rest of ours - and she had the humility and wisdom to send out an SOS e-mail and ask for some help. I'm going to go visit with her while we organize a room. It's a beautiful, fun way to do life.

The problem is, it's hard for us independent, everyone has their own house, I have to do it myself, Western Americans to ask for help. We feel like we've failed if we can't take care of it all. We are all so busy that it feels like an imposition to ask others to come help clean up the messes that we can't handle alone. Can I put a word out there for community? Cassy and I have learned that what goes around comes around. We don't have to have a schedule that says, "my turn, your turn. . . " The other important factor is honesty. We know that if the other can't do it, they won't feel guilty about needing to say "no" this time. If a friend always says yes, even if it's an inconvenience, then I'll quit asking, because I don't want to put them out.

Here it is in a nutshell:

1. It's not shameful to get overwhelmed with the housework. We all feel it.

2. It takes humility to ask for help.

3. Offer to return the favor

4. When someone asks for help, answer honestly. Don't feel like you have to say yes every time.

5. Love one another - it makes the world go round.

I'm off to clean and visit - have a great afternoon.