The daily armor

I've been having a hard time lately. I have a post 2/3rds done to tell you all about it - so I won't go into detail here. Suffice it to say that some long-term struggles are finally getting some attention. And while I'm hopeful that getting to the root of the matter is going to change my life forever, it's a daily struggle right now. It's a mixture of being extremely tired, somewhat unmotivated, very busy, and perhaps a touch of depression thrown in the mix. It makes for a lot of ups and downs each day.

So two days ago was a hard day. By the time Jeff was on the way home I was done. I called and asked him if he could get the kids to basketball practice that night, and when he walked in the door, I walked out. (With a kiss and a smile, of course) I took my iPod filled with worship music and started around the block in the cool of the evening. Anyone passing on the street could see this was not a leisurely walk. I was racing to outpace my "demons," and the competition was fierce. I'm not sure which was more intense, the pace of my walk, or the pace of the thoughts in my brain.

At several points along the route our gracious God spoke gently to my spirit. Affirming me, reassuring me of His presence, drawing my attention to Himself. Both during worship this weekend, and again on my walk, the Holy Spirit was assuring me that I am on the right path - that pressing into this struggle is the right thing to do - that I do not need to be ashamed of the struggle, but be diligent to stay the course until the root is out. I have a sense in my spirit that there is not a "quick fix" for me, but a long journey, and yet a sense that the journey will be well worth it. And so I press on.

Another conversation with God on my walk that night went something like this, "Jennifer, I am in this, and it is good. It will be hard, and it will be long, it will be a season that requires much. It is a season to be sure to spend time with me daily, because you will need it."

Yesterday morning found me up earlier than usual, Bible and journal on my lap, shivering in the early morning cold. As the space heater warmed my toes, so God's Word warmed my soul. I found myself much better prepared for the day ahead, and as I crawled into bed last night, I was able to marvel at the wonder of a day spent in God's care, as opposed to a day spent in my own striving.

The scripture God led me to was the passage in Ephesians that talks about our battle - and that it's not against people (not even myself), but spiritual forces. It then goes on to tell us how to prepare ourselves for the battle by putting on the armor of God. Since every day has seemed like a battle lately, I took this as specific instruction from God. I wrote the passage in my journal, and have prayed it for two days in a row now. (I know, a long proven practice of just two days is hardly worth blogging, but I think since it's been in the Bible for 1000+ years, it stands the test of time!) So, this whole long, drawn-out, blog is just to remind you of this:

Belt of Truth

Breastplate of Righteousness

Gospel of Peace (for your feet)

Helmet of Salvation

Sword of the Spirit (Word of God)

and Pray in the Spirit on all occasions

Look it up. (Ephesians 6) Study it. See what it means to you. And pray it, daily, if you want. It's the season I'm in, and perhaps it might be a season for you too.