No Comparison

My newly renewed enjoyment of running has led me to an unseemly discovery. It has exposed one of my strongest rooted weaknesses - that undying capacity to compare myself to others. Uhgg.

About a month ago I discovered that it no longer hurt my feet, ankles, shins, knees and hips to run. I know running is supposed to hurt - but not every bone and joint below my neck!! When I made this discovery, I began running three times a week. My early endeavors should not be truly counted as "running" really, but it was a start. My "only" opportunity to run was in the morning and the time available only left me with the option of a quick jaunt around a few blocks close to my house. On cement sidewalks.

One week ago today my feet, ankles and calves gave notice that they were done pounding the pavement. Having just rediscovered this love, and being completely unwilling to give it up when I'm feeling so good, I found another time to run and have gone down to Bush Park a couple times, which has a bark chip path. My feet and legs are happier, and I'm still running - which makes me very happy!

However, the difference between the neighborhood around my house and the running trail at Bush Park is that there are other runners at the park. As I run I pass and get passed. Some people are running the same direction as me - it's really embarrassing when one of them passes me - and there are those going the opposite direction - I pass them two times on either side of each lap.

so, here's the true confession - I'm awful. I won't even begin to tell you all the thoughts that run through my head about myself and others and as do what comes so natural to me and compare every living thing in the park. From size and speed to hair color and choice of running outfit - I notice it and compare.

This morning as I went out I asked God to give me a different way to deal with the noticing. I don't want to be a person who automatically puts people in boxes, so it was obvious that I needed to get rid of the boxes. The thing that came to me today was to notice and bless. God made us to notice things - but I take it to competing and comparing. This morning I noticed the woman older than me who passed me from behind, twice, and I prayed that God would bless her with healthy joints. I noticed the woman my age who was farther along than me each time we crossed paths and prayed that God would bless her with increase. I noticed the woman who was clearly out running to try to get back in shape, and I blessed her with perseverance. Rather than noticing and comparing, I noticed and blessed.

It was good.