I don't really have time to post today - I've got to get the kids to VBS on time - but I have a quick thought I'm prompted to share with you.
About a month ago I was meeting with my Life Coach, Barb Burge, who is wonderful. She was asking me what I wanted to focus on for our session, and since I'd been pulling my hair out in the parenting realm, I asked if we could talk through some issues with my kids. She asks great questions about what I'd like life to look like, and how I think that would make things different, and what I would need to do to make those changes. I had to laugh in the middle of the session when she asked me what needed to change and I listed all these things I wanted the kids to change. She listening patiently and when I paused for breath, she quietly interjected, "Yes, and what would need to change in you?"
Aaccckk - you mean truly the only person I can change is me? It was so clear to me that if I want to have changes in the atmosphere in our home, then I must be intentional about my thoughts, attitudes and actions. Long story short, she and I set some goals for the next couple months. One of those goals is something I'm calling "Parenting awareness."
Each morning, as a part of my prayer time, I added a couple things to my list. I ask God to prepare my heart for parenting that day, and ask two questions:
1. Lord, what do I need to be aware of today?
2. Open my eyes and heart to what our kids will need from me.
It has been so amazing to see how God answers those prayers. I take time to be quiet and write in my journal some of the things I sense the Holy Spirit laying on my heart. Here are a few excerpts from the last few weeks:
- Rain, kids need a change of scenery
- Tye has a program, be prepared with an early dinner
- They are craving time with me, give them their choice of what to do
- School transitions are causing inner tension for the boys, be sensitive
- Love on them this morning, you'll be gone for a couple days
- Titus' life is changing drastically, for the good, but it's still a change and needs parental awareness of his vulnerability. Keep him close to you today.
- I am tired. My stress levels may be closer to the surface than usual. Don't try to do too much, sit with the kids, give yourself space, be sure to give Abby a quiet time, stick to family routines like chores.
- As school winds down, be aware of underlying emotion
- Being away from home all day means less gets done at home - be prepared to accept some mess.
- Abby will need you today
- Not be task oriented
And today's list - Hugs and patience, don't rush around in a hurry, make a family dinner, do chores, pray for Jeff.
This has been such an encouraging and amazing process. As I've been more aware of their needs, we are all living in more peace. I'm excited to see where this goes. And you, are you being intentional about the way you interact with your kids, or are the days just flying by? Each day is not a conduit to the next day, it's the day we've been given. Let's live each day with purpose and invest in the lives that have been entrusted to our care.
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