Why no Comments

A friend asked me today, via facebook, why you can't leave comments on this blog anymore. I know I mentioned it briefly months ago, but thought other readers might benefit from a current explanation of why I disabled the comments. So here is the answer I gave her:

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Hi friend - Back in May when I took my hiatus from everything electronic, I was trying to get a grip on my time management. In August when I took a break from blogging, I was trying to get a grip on my motives and relationships.

I had found that I was checking my blog umpteen times a day to see if anyone had commented on a recent post. And they rarely had. Then I was disappointed with my friends. Then I was frustrated with myself for being disappointed.

Bottom line, I was looking to my blog for relational interaction and personal affirmation. I wanted people to reply so that I knew they liked me. And this, I discovered, is not a good way to do life.

So, God lead me to quit blogging for a time, until I could get my motives in check, my affirmation from Him, and personal relationships growing offline. As I took that journey, I missed blogging. I missed processing my thoughts and life lessons in writing. I missed the outlet to share what God was teaching me.

And even though part of blogging had become unhealthy for me, I also knew there was good coming out of the blog as God was using it as an avenue for sharing and teaching.

So I was hanging out with a friend and she said, "What if you disabled comments?" I first thought, "No, I just need to get my life and heart together." And then I realized it was a brilliant idea. If people couldn't comment, then I couldn't be looking to their comments to affirm me and validate me.

So God and I struck a compromise. I could start blogging again if I disabled comments and deleted the bar with all the connections to other blogs. Both of those measures have saved me considerable amount of time on the internet, and by doing so, God gave me permission to start writing again.

Lately, I've been tempted to turn comments back on. I feel like I'm in a different place relationally and emotionally, and I wouldn't be looking for the blog to meet my needs for affirmation and friendship. . . but honestly I've been a little scared to discover I'm wrong and still dependent on comments to make me feel good about myself.

That's probably a longer answer than you were looking for, but it's the whole story.

Love you - Jen :)